Monday, 30 May 2011

Quick Cross Pimp-Infinity

Quick post today, I *have* to send you to the following link:

Pure Pr0n By The Way!

Some sexy, sexy Infinity work going on over there. Infinity is such a fantastic, competitive game! I wish there was more of a tournament thing going on with it, but thats why we have warmachine I suppose.

Managed to paint the flesh on my GunBoars last night, and Im fairly sure that the words "this should be easy" passed my lips at one point. It wasnt...

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Glasgow Gamers Group Goes GaGa, Weekly Update.

Business Grum Speaks:
I have started a nice wee sideline in trying to promote the local gaming group that I attend(glasgow is blessed with many groups, but this one is mine...)

Wee linky : G3 Blog

A wee follow from the locals would be swell, as I hope to get the rest of the guys on board and give us another channel of communication. Its early days and theres work to do, but from small acorns mighty trees grow.

You can also follow me on twitter : @grumhelden, and the club on @glasgowg3.

I do try and keep my personal opinions (and rants :) ) seperate from the professional face that a club like g3 needs, but cross promotion never hurts.

Gaming wise, Ranty Grum:
Mongoose games have recently released a new variant of the venerable Call To Arms system, this time attached to the Fading Suns IP.

I have ordered a fleet of Al-Malik and the rulebook from the FLGS, and cannot fucking wait!

Spaceships are just cool. Spaceships that shoot the living fuck out of each other and spew the crew into the grim, empty, uncaring void of space to spew out their last seconds in agonising terror...I mean whats not to like!

I was unfamiliar with the Fading Suns setting, but I intend to put that to rights forthwith.

Oh I also started a vlog about getting from being a fat bastard to a not-fat-bastard based off's challenge. I doubt I will be welcomed into the child friendly fold of miniwargaming, but I prefer standing outside in teh rain, alone, while the cool kids are inside having fun. I hated school...

Sunday, 22 May 2011

The End Of Days

It happens every few years, there's a price rise here, a product change there, and people cry that the sky is falling for GW. Only this time, it just might be actually falling.

This is 2011 as I write this, everyone can be connected to everyone else if they choose to be, and a whole generation is growing up knowing it to be no other way. Into this world of ends, Games Workshop has stumbled like a blind, bumbling fool, barely leveraging the power of community access, online updates and ordering until the very damn recent past.

And now, they decide that a free marked in the anglosphere is something they cannot countenance, and they are shooting their own feet off and wondering why they cant walk.

People are planning on leaving GW, and they have no way to get new customers in, we hate to see it, but GW is dying and is not doing what it needs to do to survive. Everyone on the internet is an instant expert, but its common sense that its better to sell 1 Million Doodads at £20, as opposed to 100,000 at £40.

It would seem that in the face of declining sales, the GW survival strategy has gone a little bit Cascade Failure. This is easily explained by reading the shareholder reports, and if you don't have time to read them I'll sum them up here "these stupid fat kids buy our shite no matter what we do, and we can sue the fuck out of everyone else, so trebles all round!".

GW no longer cares and can probably no longer see that they are alienating the repeat spenders AND the new blood.

"But they rely on mummies and daddies buying stuff for little Timmy" I hear you cry! Fuck off and pickle your face! I reply! Mummy and Daddy are facing redundancy, increased mortgage costs, uncertain futures and fuel that has risen in price by a terrifying amount, with the associated knock on effect on staples like bread and milk.

Mummy and Daddy are spending the extra cash on drink and divorce lawyers, not close to £500 for a new starter army for Timmy. In fact, Timmy is wondering why all the bigger boys have loads of they have lottery winning parents? Timmy doesn't want to play Warhammer, because he cannot be as cool as the guy who already bought an army, because mummy and daddy cant afford it. Mummy ran away and daddy is on TV crying because she wont come home.

Timmy is scared to play with the boys in his area, and he cant afford to play with the nice safe boys in GW, so Timmy has no escape, Timmy cant buy what GW is *really* selling, because the guys in charge at GW don't know that they are selling a safe place to make friends, a place where Timmy can be a champion, feel wanted, feel safe, and when Timmy grows up, its that place that he goes back to, when his girlfriend leaves him after University, he will go back there. When he is starting up the corporate ladder , and feels stress at work, its that safe place that he goes to once more.

Games Workshop don't sell fucking Space Marines, they sell us the memory of somewhere safe, somewhere fun. They sell the old players a memory of simplicity, they sell the young players a place of safety and belonging.

They are now expecting you to pay more than you actually earn for that product. They can fuck right off. Timmy didn't get a Big Box starter set this year, Timmy got a new tracksuit so he could fit in with the guys in the park, he started drinking and fighting at night, rather than staying in and building memories, worlds and adventures. Timmy didnt go to university, because he was in prison. He was in prison because he couldnt afford any toys, so he caused trouble and got caught.

Little Timmy didn't ever get to know about Mantic, FoW, Infinity, 10mm, 6mm, 15mm, Gruntz, or any of it. Little Timmy died alone, needle still in his arm, lips blue.

His mother was never found, and his father was so far gone on drink that he didn't even remember he had a son.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Doom! Doom! Doom!

GW profits up, Income Down! GW move to resin!  PP giveaways! FanBois have collective stroke!

Its been a busy month both in the gaming world and in my own has been hammer and tongs but I am just grateful that I have a job at all at this point.

I have had many ideas for the blog, content-wise, but was alwasy too tired/busy to put fingers to keys and actually get stuff written. 

When I end up in this situation I usually keep a kind of running notebook, using scribefire and evernote, heres what I had for the last month, as a kind of glimpse inside the mind of a blogger. 

I usally take notes in a question and answer style.   If I cannot form an answer that is more than 1 sentence, I know theres no meat on that bone.  This is a trick I learned when writing scripts in my younger days, if your motivation for a character is easily summed up in one word or phrase, you probably dont have a character with a story worth telling.

The usual rant-topics all fizzled due to my own sarcasm beating me:

Q:Fanbois:Why cant they see the trees and only ever see their own bush?

A:Because they are 14-17 and have not developed a fully cogent view of the world yet. And they suck.(no meat, easy answer)

Q:Why do the so viciously attack that which is different,

A:Because they are 14-17 and have not developed a fully cogent view of the world yet. And they still suck.(no meat, easy answer)

Q:Gaming Funk

A:What motivates you/me to game?  Social aspects, competitive aspects, the hobby side, the gaming side, why do we sometimes just step back and let things lie fallow for months.(see there's meat on this bone, as the answer raises more questions!)

Q:New gamers?  where do they come from? if there was no GW then where ?  What will we do on a high street sans GW?

A: No Fucking Idea! (MEATY)

VAGINAS  (I have no idea why I wrote this! But its likely that I was referring in my own way to misogyny in the hobby)

Q:Are Hobby *hubs* stifling voices of dissent or differing opinion?

A:Looking Beasts Of War, it was a great place with good content, but is increasingly feeling like an in-crowd in the comments , is this universal(other sites like pharyngula, joystiq, IGN etc)

Q:  fucking sexist homophobic wankers, arguing with a bunch of self righteous reactionary wankers.

A:This put me off gaming altogether to be honest, and the following was my belated comment on Dick Move, but 1st a disclaimer, the following is not "hobby" related, so I apologise upfront.



I have always had the rule that a hobby or niche blog should stay the fuck out of Politics.  No one wants to read political opinion when they are eating their cinnamon grahams in front of the PC,  I especially dislike opinions being foisted as fact.  But theres Politics, then there are politics.  The former being opinions on how the economy should be run, how we should support those less fortunate etc.  The latter concerns gender and sexual equality, and the people who would opress those of differing gender or sexual bias, they usually resort to arguments like "natural order", "gods law" and "their rightful place", none of these arguments hold scientific water and are based on cultural and religious bias.  In other words, fuck homophobia, fuck racism and fuck sexism.  I dont like cherry cola, so I dont drink it. I'll be fucked if someone decides that I should only drink Dr Pepper because it happens to be their preference, and any preference for any other soft drink should be banned or outlawed because they fucking say so.  Get fucked.

"TBH the homophobia, mysogyny, and elitist cliques on the interwebz and at my local gaming group have just put me off the whole sorry affair, blogging, gaming, the lot. The “HAWHAW AHM RIGHT AND YOU FAGGOTS ARE JUST UNNATURAL” attitude will never be changed, the “WIMMIN ARE OBJECTS” attitude just reinforces the general “hate” attitude, and any dissenting voice, whether self righteous or not, gets shouted down by the yeehaw brigade. Imagine your 14, the impression from comments on BoLS and elsewhere would surely be not being christian, not being straight, and not being white mean you have no rights to marriage, jobs, education or toy soldiers, or indeed life in some peoples minds.

Is this where we want our *hobby* to be? It’s bad enough the stupid, the intolerant and the downright ignorant are seeping into schools, government and healthcare, now they are after our bloody toy soldiers.

Tolerance doesnt mean you have to like, support or encourage something, just stay-the-fuck out of it, and get on with your own life.

Stupidity on its own isnt evil, but forcing people who really fucking do know better than you to obey your rules because you shout louder is. (looking at you anti-vaxxers, truthers, birthers, and holocaust deniers)

And lastly, being ignorant is a thing that be changed, we were all ignorant of how a mech list worked once, why not learn about the way your neighbour lives instead of hating him for a flimsy, arbritary reason?

A lot of folk in the UK do not believe in the literal truth of bronze age mysticism, but we would never hate someone who did. It seems however that the same is not true in reverse. “live and let live”, fuck, no way, my opinion is more important than yours so fuck off out of MAH hobby, and off o MAH special planet.

Fuck the lot of em."