Friday, 23 August 2013

Historical Gaming It's OK to just not care

I have a confession to make.  

I don't give a fuck about historical gaming.

"Well, we don't give a fuck either Grum, what's your point dickhead?"  I hear you cry.

I'm sure they were all awesome dudes.
I just don't care.

My point is I tried.   I have tried and tried and tried but I just cant do it.  I can't bring any enthusiasm for WW2, I can't pretend that the thought of ranks upon ranks of serried redcoats facing down upstart Bostonians excites me.  I would rather staple my face to a kitten than refight kadesh.

When my partner gave me the news that we were going to have a child, I was of course excited, overjoyed and happy beyond measure.  Once the news had settled and all the relevant ducks were in order, I sat down to start selling off my hobby stuff, in reverse order of frequency of use.   We aren't rich, I knew something would have to give.

I had a long, hard look at the piles of shite I had amassed and started narrowing down what would stay and what would go.   Atop the pile lay Flames of War...

I looked at the tanks, I do love tanks, don't I?
I looked at the wee sojies all earnestly out to kill the other guys...
I looked at the wee jeeps and wee commander guys...

I then sent a message to our local Ranger, a force of pure awesome known as Fawkles and made a deal to trade my FoW stuff for some 40K stuff(a sweet haul of Armageddon Steel).

You see, I realised I don't actually like tanks.   I thought I did for years but I actually don't.  I like Land Raiders and Rhinos and Baneblades and Chimera's and Valkyries and pewpewpew!

It's not the quality of a miniature that makes me like it, not the sculpt , or anything like that,  Its the story it tells my inner 12 year old!

I thought for a while that historical was a viable way to go, plenty of plastics available now, loads of high quality rulesets written by good writers that were accessible , you know, Black Powder, FoW, all that stuff.
It seemed that historical gaming had a longevity and cost benefit that fantasy and sci fi did not.  After all, Agincourt will still be Agincourt in ten, twenty and thirty years time.  

The big clean out and sell up is almost complete, and it has taught me exactly why I play games, and what I need from them.  The answers are not what I had expected.   I thought my major consideration would be cost.  It's not.  It's fun.  It's pewpewpew.  It's the fucking joy of a gun with a sword strapped to it.


I do care about Kadesh, I do care about Iskander and his conquests, I really care about the peloponnesian wars and all that crazy old stuff.  I get fucking hard for Tercios, I just dont want to spend any time on them.  I know about the vikings , the varangians and how utterly fucking cool everything they did was...but in 28mm I just could not give a fuck.  I feel cleaner admitting this.   I felt for a long time like it was a sin.  I felt I had broken some sacred trust or covenant.  I realised that I am probably halfway through my journey on this earth and stopped caring.

I like undead hookers.  I like werewolves with machine guns. I like ships that fly while shooting airplanes out of their guns.

I like full on retarded awesome stuff like this:

And I am OK with that.

Until next time, dance like nae cunts looking.


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