Thursday, 22 September 2011

Hot Places are Hot, Some books are rubbish

Hello everybody! *Hi Dr Grum* Miss me?
Heroin...makes everything better.

Thought not...well, where to begin, work, life and a holiday seem to have swallowed two months faster than Snooki swallows pearl jam when the cameras are off.
Working backwards, I'm just back from my 1st ever foreign was HOT AS FUCK and there were Cockroaches so large they ate their own predators.

I shit ye not, these bastards pushed back when you tried to stand on them...cue Grum running and screaming like a wee lassie when flip flops proved ineffective as crushing tools. 40 degrees in the shade one day, and average 32 degrees at night? Fuck that, give me the frozen north any time.

Still, it was a very refreshing thing to be away from work, and just do nothing, well, I say nothing, and what I mean by that is "sit shivering in a corner terrified of every shadow" each night.  The respect I have for people in hot countries is now 100x what it was...sure its lovely during the day, but at night actual fucking tyranids appear.  scary shit.

not shown in this picture are the billions of insects that appear nightly, or if you stand still too long.
Before that...well, death reared his bony coupon and took a couple of family members away(no no Forge World splurge...bah), about 30% of my company got made redundant and I built a shed.  See, I know my priorites.

Now, hobby content...I read through a few Black Library books, the only one of note was Mechanicum, and its only worthy of note because it was shite.

Users should note that prolonged reading leads to reading of overly long fantasy epics should be tempered with periods of light relief...such as having a kid or two.

I read the first 2.5 books of game of thrones before realising that George RR Martin is a hack with a food fetish, and Catelyn is the worst female character in any fantasy book ever written.  I have abandonded that series for a while and instead I read the first 4 books in the Sookie Stackhouse series(the ones True Blood are based on) in the time it would take Mr RR Martin  (seriously, who would use RR as a middle bit in the genre of fantasy and not  think they were being a touch pretentious?) to describe a solitary fucking PIE.  

Warning: Use of this product by men may lead to gender identity issues.

Vampires, sex, weres, shifters and down-home southern charm over 8 book in less words than Mr Martins fucking Crow pie.   I made a good call there I reckon.  The books are short, snappy, well written, well paced and genuinely funny and heartwarming by turns.  The only downside to reading the Stackhouse novels(or the Southern Vampire books or whatever) is I grew a massive fucking vagina. 
Use of this product by men with Vaginas will ensure that Penis is restored.

 To restore my gender balance, I also read a book about tanks and the experiences of the crews called Tank Men by Robert Kershaw, another fantastic Genre read that you should read if you like tanks or men.  The anecdotes are not in any way heartwarming, and several made me well up(probably a vag thing), but if you are in any way a treadhead this gets a massive thumbs up.

Before the holiday it was just work like a bastard and hope that the wave of redundancies missed me, which thankfully it did, although theres no overtime payments anymore, which is shit. I did manage to attend a tournament at the utterly fantastic World of War in Livingston, placing my 2nd worst ever, but thats another story for another time.

See you soon.


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