Sunday, 14 November 2010

Internet Opinion is Truth – You got the movie you deserved? And best comment on BoLS ever.

Regarding http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2010/11/ultramarines-franks-first-impression.html
and similar in all the usual haunts...

Reading all the 1st impressions around the web, you would be forgiven for thinking that a blockbuster of Harry Potter proportions was winging it’s way to the silver screen.
However, read these impressions with the eye of a cynic , and the reviews are pretty much summed up as:
“WOO! YEAH! MARINES! STUFF THAT I LIKE ANYWAY!”
And I quote:

“There are some rough spots, BUT, whatever.”

“Split it with your buds if you have to, but BUY the movie... It's totally something you're going to watch again and again with your friends, your gaming group, and your girlfriend...ok may not that last one.”

Never in the history of fandom, has so much been said by so few. 

Translation of the reviews I have read so far:

I FUCKING LOVE GW MAN! I DONT CARE THAT I DESERVED BETTER! I WILL SUCK SATANS BALLS FOR SUBSTANDARD PLASTIC (AND OR FILMS AND BOOKS) AND I WILL LOVE IT! IF YOU DISAGREE YOU HATE ALL WARGAMING AND ALL WARGAMERS AND ARE A TERRORIST AND UNAMERICAN AND COMMUNIST AND MUST DIE! LOVE GW OR DIE YOU COMMIE BASTARD!

Well, old bean, fuck this shitty film and the straight to dvd, substandard cash cow it rode in on.

You deserved better even if you are so cuckolded by GW that you don’t know it.

Even if the film is good, I will not be able to enjoy it because the taste of fanboi will be in my mouth.
I’m a GW hater? Want to test my GW credentials…every edition of Warhammer, 40k and all the books currently hogging my shelves say fuck you.  Space Crusade/Advanced Space Crusade kick you in the nuts, And the Heroquests use a stack of Warhammer Quest boxes to throw Mordhiem parts at you.

 I love GW.  That doesnt mean that I agree with current policy or practice.

I have played GW games for 20 years.

The 1st big dream that was destroyed was Warhammer Online:Age of Reckoning.

It was like meeting your hero and finding out he was a twat when I first played that game.
We, you, I, deserved better.  The shareholders owed it to us but Mark Jacobs wanted to make DaoC 2, and pissed on our dream.

The 2nd big dream that was destroyed was Ultramarines:The CashCow.
We, you , I, deserved better.  Gods damn it all to the 9 hells, WE deserved better!
Fuck you GW.  Fuck you and stop shitting on our dreams.





Postscript:

The following appeared in the comments on BoLS:
“Critical thinking is really not for the jaded. You do it by taking off the blinkers, opening your mind wide and looking all around you. It needs a certain amount of imagination, a sense of the vast potential the world has to offer, a belief in what could exist. The jaded don't have too much of that.
It is after all possible to find wonder in places other than expensive, straight-to-DVD animations hyped by fanboys who'll buy anything with the right logo.”
Well, fuck me gently with a well oiled bolter, there is hope!
Critical Consumers of the Crack unite!

5 comments:

  1. I wish to Hell I knew what you were on about today, g. 'Cause it sounds tasty.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Warhammer Online... man, that game was dead inside. I still don't understand how something as whimsically British as the Warhammer World, and so laced with irony, could end up so tedious to actually explore.

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